


Backs Against the Wall

by wwaywwardVvagabond



Series: Mars [4]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Light Angst, M/M, POV Kanda Yuu, Pre-Slash, chaoji being an asshole to allen, this was intended to just be an excuse to beat up chaoji and then it turned into this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:28:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23443990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wwaywwardVvagabond/pseuds/wwaywwardVvagabond
Summary: All of Headquarters knows what Allen's harboring inside of him now, and Kanda is getting sick of listening to one Chaoji Han complain about it.
Relationships: Kanda Yuu/Allen Walker
Series: Mars [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/528139
Comments: 11
Kudos: 176





	Backs Against the Wall

**Author's Note:**

> I really just wanted to beat the shit out of Chaoji for the things he said about Allen. So I thought, why not have Kanda try to beat him up and then make it Yullen-flavored?
> 
> I hope you like it!

“I heard he’s connected to the Noah,” a Finder whispered.  
  
Murmurs swept across the table.  
  
“Well, didn’t he take control of the Ark thing?” asked one. “Doesn’t that mean he’s already…”  
  
“That Lvellie had him locked down for a reason, didn’t he? Isn’t it… odd that it all happened so close to General Cross’s death?” another brought up.  
  
Kanda stared into his soba, teeth gritted, his fingers clenched so tightly around his chopsticks that he felt the wood start to give. He fucking despised when Finders dared to speak badly about an exorcist—worse, everything they had said wasn’t technically wrong. He moved to set his chopsticks down and almost succeeded in not slamming them. The clatter was loud, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.  
  
A ripple of tension blanketed the table of gossips at that; a few of them flinched at the sound and turned to ogle him, wide-eyed. He didn’t look back at them, letting his silence speak. A frightened, deafening hush rippled outward from him and over the dining hall. Kanda took a sip of his green tea, just trying to ignore the way his hands shook in rage. He _did_ promise Lenalee to be better about not taking his anger out on the Finders. Especially now, when there were so few left and morale had hit rock bottom.  
  
But _goddamn_ it, he already put up with too much shit.  
  
As stupid as the prattling group was, he noticed that they, at least, weren’t completely brainless; maybe they noticed how taut his shoulders were, or some primal sense of self-preservation told them to fear Mugen, but they remained quiet.  
  
That is, until the subject of their gossip entered the dining hall, flanked by Lavi and Lenalee, and closely hounded by Link. It didn’t take long for them to spot him, and the group approached, setting their coats down to claim their spots near him at the table.  
  
“Good evening, Kanda,” Lenalee greeted, cheerily, and her words were soon echoed by the others.  
  
He glared at them and scoffed, but unfortunately they all knew that at this point there was no real venom in it. He sort of wished it hadn’t been so easy to fall into this routine with them, but… he could admit that it was kind of nice, as long as no one else knew that.  
  
Except Link, of course, at whom he shot a true sneer. Link did his best to keep his face carefully unaffected, which pissed Kanda off more. Link could fuck off. He might be useful on missions sometimes, but that was only when he stopped to take his nose out of Moyashi’s ass. All he did was look for things about Walker to report back to Lvellie, and by extension made the far more grievous mistake of making Kanda’s life more hell than it needed to be.  
  
“We’ll be back soon, Kanda,” Lenalee said with a smile, to which Kanda just hummed and took another mouthful of soba. He watched them coolly as they got in line to place their orders to Jerry, Walker and Lavi visibly vibrating in hungry excitement.  
  
The instant they left the vicinity, someone from the gossiping Finders’ table muttered, “I don’t see how Master Lavi and Mistress Lena can bear his company now. Don’t they know?”  
  
“I respect Mistress Lenalee and Master Lavi greatly,” came a familiar, aggravating voice. “They risked their lives to help me and my comrades. It’s really so painful to see them with a traitor. Maybe they haven’t come to terms with the truth.”  
  
Kanda barely heard the wave of “Ah, so sad,” that followed. He saw red, his blood singing for him to commit violence. He’d never liked the new little weasel, but this—  
  
“A traitor, Master Chaoji? For real?”  
  
“I was there when Special Inspector Lvellie made the announcement of what he really is: he’s the host for the Fourteenth! And I was there when he saved that Noah Tyki Mikk instead of killing him,” Chaoji Han said firmly. “Everything he’s done has been to benefit the Noah, think about it.”  
  
The murmurs raised in pitch, frantic. “Scary… isn’t Lvellie afraid he’ll attack us..? I mean, shouldn’t he be locked up and treated like the Noah?”  
  
“I’ll kill him myself if he tries anything,” Han declared. “He doesn’t belong here. He shouldn’t get to call himself an exorcist still. Don’t worry everyone, I’ll keep an eye on him!”  
  
The fury bubbling up inside of Kanda burst and spilled over. _Sorry, Lenalee_ , he thought as he felt himself standing, shoving his bench back from the table and causing it to shriek against the floor. Heads around the room turned to stare. His teeth clenched in a deep snarl, he grabbed Mugen and stalked to where Han sat nearby. Groups of Finders were already gasping and flinching in waves, bowing low and tripping over themselves to apologize.  
  
“Sorry for disturbing you sir, forgive us, forgive us Master exorcist…”  
  
“Shut the fuck up,” Kanda growled. He drew Mugen part-way, a promise more than a threat, and everyone froze.  
  
“Master Kanda?” Han faced him with wide cow eyes, startled, with something between fear and bemusement.  
  
“You,” spat Kanda. “You _really_ need to shut the fuck up. You don’t know _anything_.”  
  
The whole dining hall was growing quiet as all attention shifted to them. Kanda couldn’t give a shit. No one was trying to stop him, so it didn’t matter.  
  
“K-Kanda,” Han repeated, lost. Then he furrowed his brows, steeling himself. “You know it’s all true, you know it better than I do! You were there! Allen Walker is a danger to the entire Order, and a traitor!” He stood, to better look Kanda in the eye.  
  
Mugen itched with the need to cut him up right there. He could feel it—the blade hummed and it resonated in his blood. But murder would be messy, and end up with a lot of paperwork and reaming out, so he forcefully resheathed Mugen and opted for his bare hands instead. He grabbed Han by the collar and yanked him forward, earning a terrified gasp from the newbie.  
  
“Listen to me,” Kanda hissed. “You’re pathetic. All you do is snivel at Lenalee’s feet and you think that gives you the right to even think about Walker like that? He is five times the exorcist you will ever be. You don’t know a goddamn thing about him and if I ever hear you fucking talking about any exorcist that way again, I will personally fucking feed your fingers to the dogs—”  
  
“ _Kanda_!”  
  
Walker and the rest had taken notice of the commotion, and they were hurrying over to break them up, clearly irritated.  
  
“Kanda, stop, let go of him,” Lenalee ordered. Almost guiltily, Kanda knew that her frustration stemmed from stress—and the fact that she’d dispersed two fights already that week.  
  
He scoffed one last time, looking down his nose as Han’s quivering chin, then shoved him away. He crossed his arms; Han stumbled, tripping over himself and landing in Walker’s outstretched, steadying arms.  
  
“Are you okay, Chaoji?” Walker asked in concern, his expression open and kind as he smiled at Han.  
  
Kanda watched him, intrigued by the way his lips curved and parted just slightly to reveal a thin line of perfectly white teeth. Snowy white eyelashes framed the worry in his grey eyes. A very slight flush high on Walker’s cheekbones highlighted the tiny dusting of freckles across his nose, and for just a moment Kanda was almost able to forget his anger.  
  
His scrutiny snapped back to Han when the man recoiled away from Walker and viciously snapped, “Don’t touch me!” He yanked himself away from Walker’s lingering grip and brushed his uniform of any imaginary creases or filth.  
  
Walker’s face fell, his expression shuttering as his shoulders curled inward, putting himself on the defensive. Kanda bristled, beginning to simmer again, his fingers twitching toward Mugen. He just wanted to cut that guy up…  
  
“He was just trying to help, Chaoji,” Lenalee said placatingly, stepping forward to ease the tension and draw attention away from Walker. “But are you alrig—”  
  
“‘Just trying to help’? He shouldn’t even be allowed here! He should be locked up away from all of us, or better yet, killed!”  
  
Han’s outcry was followed by hushed tones of agreement from the crowd.  
  
Link spoke up first. “Inspector Lvellie authorized his freedom. Sufficient evidence couldn't be found that he would pose a danger—”  
  
“How… can you say something like that?” Lenalee suddenly sobbed, and they fell quiet immediately. Every head in the dining hall turned to stare menacingly at the fighting group that made Lenalee cry. Han managed to have the wherewithal to look a bit regretful. “Chaoji, how can you say something so horrid?” Lenalee wiped angrily at her tears. “Allen has sacrificed so much for the Order… he-he almost died fighting Tyki Mikk… he’s saved us so many times…”  
  
“Lenalee…” Walker said quietly.  
  
“Don’t you say it’s fine, Allen!”  
  
“But Lenalee,” Han pushed, “he’s a Noah. You know that! You can’t trust anything he says or does!”  
  
“Shut up!” Kanda spat.  
  
Lenalee opened her mouth to argue, but choked on her tears and just shook her head vehemently. Lavi laid a hand on her elbow and began to draw her and Walker back, murmuring that the group of dissidents weren’t going to listen to reason and that it didn’t matter.  
  
“The Noah are responsible for so much death,” Han was still saying. “So many innocent people! They all need to pay, and we’re supposed to ignore the one in our midst right now? He’s plotting against us all!”  
  
Answering cries of accord rang out among the group that Han had amassed. Lavi’s fist was clenched, but he kept calm as he beat Kanda to calling out to them. “Stop! Everyone stop that, now!” Lavi tugged at Lenalee’s elbow and Walker’s sleeve. “Come on Lena, Allen; you too, Yuu—Yuu, calm down, seriously—let’s go somewhere else.”  
  
Kanda’s teeth were gritted, and his hand had moved closer to Mugen, but mostly he was watching Walker. The latter’s eyes were shut tight, and his nose was flared, like he was trying to steady himself from lashing out.  
  
“If you _really_ cared about the Order, you’d turn yourself in, Noah scum,” Han threw at Walker directly.  
  
“Yeah!” shouted a Finder behind him, evidently emboldened. “Kill the Noah, Master Chaoji!”  
  
Kanda’s eyes flashed, silencing the Finder, but the call had already egged Han on. The glow of Innocence wreathed Han. “You don’t belong here, Fourteenth. You’re a traitor to the Order, and the others are blinded by your tricks!”  
  
“I am an exorcist!” Walker finally shouted, teeth bared as his mask of politeness shattered completely. “I am an exorcist! My name is Allen Walker, and I fight the Millenium Earl for the sake of humanity!”  
  
“Is the Noah going to attack Master Chaoji?” some Finders murmured. Kanda felt electricity prickle across his body as his temper flared.  
  
“H-he’s going to attack!”  
  
“Look out, Master Chaoji!”  
  
“You’re not an exorcist,” said Han murderously to Walker, the words flung from his mouth like a curse. Many of the Finders gave excited shouts. “You’re a Noah. A murderer. I see through you, and I’ll never forgive you!”  
  
And then Kanda’s fist was connecting with Han’s face.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
“So, Kanda,” Komui began after a long, desperate drag of coffee. “We both know why you’re here. We also both know I can’t afford to suspend you for real right now. But I probably don’t need to remind you that I don’t need Lvellie looking at our branch with any _additional_ suspicion. So, what to do?”  
  
“Maybe start with getting Han to shut the fuck up about Walker,” Kanda suggested helpfully, sliding down in his chair until he reached a comfortable slouch.  
  
Komui took a few moments to pause, but if it was because of surprise or just because he was thinking, he didn’t let on. “I understand you’re frustrated by his treatment of your comrade,” he eventually said, carefully. “Especially… the things he’s said about Walker. Allen means a lot to all of us. But you can’t keep trying to solve things with violence—particularly against another exorcist when out numbers are the lowest they’ve ever been.”  
  
Kanda clicked his tongue, setting his chin in his hand and taking an opportunity to glance around Komui’s cluttered office. His eyes lingered on what looked suspiciously like poorly hidden robot parts, and he was struck with inspiration.  
  
“He doesn’t know anything,” said Kanda stiffly. “Moyashi might be a piece of shit, but he’s still an exorcist. But it wasn’t just that.” He looked sideways at Komui. “He made Lena cry. Ask anyone there.”  
  
Komui stopped dead. “Excuse me for a moment,” he muttered, then grabbed some papers nearby that were definitely robot blueprints and began scribbling furiously.  
  
Kanda watched for a few minutes with something approaching glee before Komui coughed, settling back into his seat and steepling his fingers. “Well. I’ll take care of that.” His eyes were keen as he dissected Kanda. “I know that you care about Allen. And I know that you like to pretend that you don’t care,” he added forcefully, holding up a hand to stop the protests trying to escape. “We all care for Allen. But we need to think about what’s best for the Order right now. The Earl would love for us to have internal conflict, so we can’t be breaking relationships with other exorcists. If I remember correctly, you weren’t exactly a fan when Allen first started here either, were you? Give Chaoji some time, and let Allen prove him wrong. I’ll handle… the rest.”  
  
“It’s not the same,” Kanda scoffed, his fingers worrying at a loose thread in the chair’s upholstery. “Chaoji Han is a coward and a shitty fucking exorcist. I dislike Walker for his attitude and because I’m better than him. Han has no right saying those things about him when Walker’s saved his ass multiple times.” He looked away, definitely not embarrassed. “Walker at least deserves respect.”  
  
He hated how Komui studied him. “Tell me you’ll leave Chaoji alone, Kanda,” he eventually sighed. “We can’t afford to have Central looking at us even closer because we choose to prioritize a Noah’s host over, by all intents, a loyal exorcist. Soon they’ll see how much we need Allen. Until then… I’ll take care of it.”  
  
Kanda clicked his tongue again. “Understood,” he huffed.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
“Sh, shh, he’s coming, it’s Master Kanda…”  
  
Whispers and stares followed him as he entered the dining hall for dinner. Still with this bullshit—it had been several days since he had decked Han, and yet people kept murmuring about it. More annoyingly, they pretended they weren’t whenever he was around, as if he gave a shit.  
  
“He’s never been very kind to us Finders or other exorcists… you really think he’s siding with the Fourteenth?”  
  
“Who knows? Master Komui and those Central officials have said business as usual, but it sure is suspect, huh?”  
  
_Idiots_. He clicked his tongue as he passed them and made a beeline for Jerry, who had started up his soba the instant he spotted Kanda. _Good old Jerry_. As soon as it was done, he grabbed his tray and headed for his usual spot in the corner.  
  
He nearly made it when someone stumbled and roughly bumped into him, causing hot soba to spill out all over the tray, the floor, and himself. He growled in frustration, tossing his tray aside on the nearest table so that he could wipe himself down. “What the fuck—?”  
  
“M-master Kanda…” Bleary eyes blinked up at him, and panic settled onto Chaoji Han’s face as he realized what he’d done. “I’m so sorry, um—”  
  
Kanda very badly wanted to scream. Instead, he let himself take sick pleasure in noticing that the entire left side of Han’s face was swollen, bruised, and patched.  
  
“Er, are you hurt? Here, let me—”  
  
“Get the fuck away from me,” Kanda snapped. His hands itched to grab at Han’s throat, but he was barely able to restrain himself. He ordered, “Give me your jacket.”  
  
“What—”  
  
“Give. Me. Your. Jacket.”  
  
“Ah, fine, okay, uh…” Han stripped and handed the jacket of his uniform to Kanda.  
  
Kanda threw it on the floor and began to sop up the spilled broth.  
  
“Master Kanda—!”  
  
“Shut up.” Man, this guy was giving him a headache already. “Watch where you’re fucking going next time.” So much for dinner. He didn’t want to stick around to get back in line, and now he was covered in soba, anyway. He shouldered past a distraught Han to go back to his room.  
  
“Kanda.” The unexpected flint in his voice stopped Kanda, and he turned to find Han stretching himself to his full height, his chest puffed. People were beginning to whisper, again, and dread started to nudge beneath his skin.  
  
“What.”  
  
“Why do you dislike me so much?” Han’s eyes were challenging. “What did I ever do to you?”  
  
“Tch. You have the nerve to ask me that after spilling my soba? You’re wasting my time.”  
  
That made Han falter for just a moment. “Ah… I mean…” He swallowed. “But it’s not really about the soba, is it?”  
  
Kanda just stared, then turned to walk away again.  
  
“Kanda!” Han called after him. “If I find out you’re working with the Fourteenth—!”  
  
He didn’t finish the threat, so Kanda didn’t even bother to react. Pathetic. He scoffed and left the dining hall, stomach empty.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
“Kanda?”  
  
Of course it was Walker who found him, staring up at the sky on the outskirts of the new branch facility. In the distance were the dense forests that choked off any path to Headquarters, but this clearing was still peacefully undisturbed by prying eyes. Off the coast came the salty sea breeze, swift and shallow.  
  
Kanda could always tell when it was Walker who was approaching. His steps were muted and even, like a dancer, and—when they weren’t fighting—he spoke Kanda’s name with a soft lilt, like his name had been nestled in Walker’s mouth and now he was loath to let it free. Something about it quickened Kanda’s pulse, just by a bit.  
  
He found that answering Walker didn’t come easy, so he turned to look at him in acknowledgement. Walker was dressed plainly, his coat long and too big for his frame. His hands were hidden by gloves. He watched Kanda, calm but curious, and took the implicit invitation to step closer and gaze out toward the ocean.  
  
“What are you thinking about?” he asked.  
  
Kanda huffed and forced his gaze away from Walker’s face. “If I could get away with murder.”  
  
“You haven’t already?” Walker teased.  
  
It didn’t need an answer, and Walker wasn’t asking for one, so Kanda didn’t give one. Silence fell between them as they just watched the sky continue to darken, and Kanda dared to think of it as comfortable. The breeze caught their hair, and he found his attention drifting back to Walker’s closed expression. His eyes were dark and slightly sunken from what Kanda knew to be insomnia.  
  
He was surprised to find himself breaking the peace first. “It seems like, if you _really_ want to be sure the Fourteenth doesn’t take over, you should ask Han to kill you.”  
  
Walker laughed, startled. “Chaoji? He’d kill me right now if he could! I’m trying to be practical, not suicidal. Bakanda.” He tilted his head to meet Kanda’s eyes, sobering. “I want to live if I can. I trust you to know if it’s time.” He glanced to the side. “If I need to be stopped, I want _you_ to do it.”  
  
Kanda could tell that the smile that Walker pushed onto his face was fake, but he didn’t say anything about it.  
  
Walker laughed again, sadder. “I was having a good night,” he remarked, mild but accusatory. “What made you bring that up?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Kanda answered honestly. “That guy… just pisses me off. It’s not his place.”  
  
Walker scuffed the ground with the toe of his boot. “Thank you,” he said quietly. “I didn’t want any of you guys getting tied up in this…”  
  
“I didn’t react the way I did for _you_ ,” Kanda retorted, maybe too quickly. “He’s just a fucking idiot that thinks he knows how the world works.”  
  
Walker’s smile was wry, and his eyes still reflected gratitude, but he knew better than to call Kanda on his bluff. “It bothers you that much?” he asked instead.  
  
“All of you bother me too much,” Kanda said sourly, but his attitude didn’t seem to particularly bother Walker anymore. _What a shame_. “But congratulations. Until you succumb to that thing inside you, I’ve finally found someone that’s even more annoying and incompetent than you, Moyashi.”  
  
“It’s Allen,” Walker corrected fiercely and immediately. The conviction behind it told Kanda that it wasn’t entirely directed at him.  
  
The familiar response was comforting in a way. Kanda discreetly searched his face. Even under the dull glow of moonlight, Walker's skin was pale, and his eyes were blue-grey. Some of the tension that wrung his insides loosened; Allen Walker's eyes were grey, and not a sickly gold. Kanda nodded curtly, pleased enough with that answer. The air between them was heavy for a single, plausibly-denied second before he turned away again. They watched the moon rise above the treeline.  
  
“Hey,” Walker suddenly said. “I heard another one of Komui’s robots went wild and started attacking Chaoji.”  
  
“Really,” Kanda deadpanned, unable to face Walker for fear that the other would detect the satisfaction in his eyes. “Wonder why Komui even bothers anymore.”  
  
“Who knows?” Walker’s voice was light, and in his peripheral Kanda saw the small, upward twist of his mouth. “Keeps him sane and happy, I guess.”  
  
“Something like that.” Kanda felt his own lips curve upward.  
  
They stood in mostly companionable silence for a long time, watching the moon and stars and treeline. When Kanda looked back at him again, possibly to say something, Walker was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> Join my Yullen Discord: https://discord.gg/uzQpsys !
> 
> Catch me on Twitter @carefulcorvo


End file.
